Just wanted to make it a bit clear: I am very much alive but as I mentioned before Exams and studies are taking over my life....and my mental state is really a wreck ever since my birthday. Though many great people wished me a great birthday,the 6th of May this year was just plain horrid. The story of my horrid 15th birthday begins on the 5th May. 'Twas the day that my cousin FINALLY got engaged. A happy evening for everyone BUT myself. I told my parents I should stay home but they insisted and thus I went against my own will. I was bored like crap and all I did was sighing and playing Angry birds on my phone. My mother notices this and starts to give me one of her famous 'sermons'. I sighed for the 1587612th time and agreed to 'act' like I was having SOME fun. I couldn't hold it for a long time, I was feeling very sleepy (note that I had studied 8 hours non-stop that day and had no time for rest. not even a 5 minute nap.) and I just HAD to make everyone stare at me as if I was some fugitive who crashed the damn party. Parties are fun right? well not this one. I swear to you It was all about sermons-at least to me-each one of my relatives just HAD to give me a sermon about my grades,my health etc...
I put with all that until the grand finale,and by that time 'twas already the 6th since it passed midnight. My CLUMSY and quite frankly suspicious aunt just had to burn my hand and leave me like that with no medical attention. My mother who was supposed to care for me was all like 'you'll get over it , now shush and sit down , think about what people will say about me etc etc....' and my father was like ' shut up and live with it.' That's what I heard at least. cause it sounded very much like they didn't give a single fuck about my BURNED hand. So I took the matter into my own hands -literally- and used my basic knowledge of medical treatment.Luckily the crazy bitch(aunt) had some medical creams and stuff. If she hadn't I could swear I would had cut off her head on the spot.
Anyway,when we got home,'twas late and we all slept peacefully (except me of course since I was feeling the pain) and in the morning I woke up to find my parents completely ignoring me ON MY BIRTHDAY AFTER I GOT MY HAND BURNED.'It's cool ' I said to myself, 'If they are gonna ignore me, I'm 'onna ignore 'em too.' and thus I spent the whole day ignore them and vice versa. I played the care-free teen but deep down it hurt me more than anything. I would cry myself to sleep every night ever since. Luckily I had my totally loyal Bitch at my side -Eya- she was there to support me and all my friends too. 'twas on Wednesday (9th May)  that my mother and I reconciled, Of course 'twas really because of a scheme I came up with , not because she actually apologized or anything. The scheme was this: I never returned home until she started calling. I had to check if my mother really cared, I know 'twas a horrid thing to do but once you feel the betrayal I felt when she acted as if I was a complete stranger and how she only wanted people to say good things about her when my hand got damaged you'll do the same thing. And what followed is that my father and I reconciled afterwards. However, I am being honest when I say that I have NEVER been hurt more than this time in my whole life. If it wasn't for my  friends holding me together in one piece I would have broken down easily. And despite having reconciled with both my parents,deep down I am still very pissed and very unforgiving about this matter, and the two of them know of this.
And like I mentioned in the beginning of this journal, my mental state is still very shaken. I just can't seem to trust my parents anymore. And I already hate my paternal aunts and uncles but this incident made me hate them even more.Oh and speaking of Aunts, I didn't get to pay a visit to my dead aunt(maternal aunt whom I loved very much and vice versa) in the graveyard on her birthday this year because of the whole situation (her birthday is on the 7th of May). Though I prayed for her from all my heart I still feel like I should have visited her grave  to put some flowers at least.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I am here, though I don't reply to my messages , I still read them and I will be back for sure on the 30 or 29th of May hopefully since the finals are beginning on Monday.
See ya then!